As some might know I really enjoy reading fortune cookies at appropriate times and collecting them. Here is a list of fortune cookie quotes I have collected over the years. Most of them come from a restaurant I like to frequent called Chino Latino. But few are from Chinese take out foods I have ordered over the years.
Next time you get a gut feeling, take an antacid.
Your big break is coming. And a bus will be to blame.
When your mother told you not to be a slut she spoke from experience.
When was his last STD screening anyway?
That new mole isn’t malignant – but if it’s an egg sac laid subcutaneously by a parasite it’s hardly benign.
Bothered by her feminine irritation? Tell her about Summer’s Eve soothing gel.
Well. You certainly did YOUR share to contribute to the restaurant’s liquor revenues.
Why can’t you be more like your sister?
You will soon be crossing warm waters for a fun vacation.
You’ve changed your look.
You’ve changed your hair.
Now change your locks.
He has a blog and you should ask to see it.
That dirt under your date’s fingernails? Looks like a fungal infection.
Stop wasting your time with these people!
Your therapist is crazier than you are.
It’s getting late and your outfit is tired.
Your server has had it with you.
How about a mint?
When he says you make him crazy, believe him.
It’s not you, it’s me.
You are more intuitive than logical. You often learn better b y doing than by theorizing first.
What’s with all the Clay Aiken on your ipod?
The beginning of wisdom starts with deleting your Web history.
Damage control is no longer an option.
Your past is going to catch up with you. Then it will pounce, sink its talons into your back, knock over and set you on fire.
Generosity provides a solid foundation for mindfulness practice.
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