Reminiscences

Sometimes I, like many others, like to reminiscent about the past. When you have been keeping a diary since the age of twelve that helps with recalling memories and taking yourself to a distant past that gives you joy and makes you smile. This is how I felt today when I read a passage of my diary written on Tuesday June 26, 2007, about my second day in Egypt.

"I am in the land of sand and palm trees. Out of the airplane I could see a couple of white-brownish apartment buildings and sand. No green could be seen our of the airplane. In the plane they told us that it is pretty hot out there. Well, the weather was 104 F which is about 40 C. The highest it has ever been so far this year, Alaa tells me. I land there and my suitcase is not there. I dunno but it did not arrive with Air France as I had expected. It took me awhile to explain to the Arabic person, Reymond is his name, that works with Air France. Although his English was good. That was yesterday at around 7 or 8 pm. This morning I called them and they told me, my bags arrived with Lufthansa and that they will deliver the bags today's. I gave them the addressee to Alaa's parents house. Within about 4 hours the bags arrived at his house. And he went to his parents house to get the bags. I am waiting here for him at our apartment for the summer in New Cairo.

Alaa is so happy that I am here and he is so so sweet. When I came yesterday his parents called to ask him if I came. Then his Dad wanted to speak to me and he was like "Welcome, welcome, welcome to Egypt. I hope you will have a great time and see the beauty of Egypt," he sounds a bit like a travel agent. Then he said "hopefully your parents can come too someday, we would like to invite them." Today we are supposed to go and meet them all, Alaa told me that they had invited a bunch of his family. I am a bit nervous. I rather first just meet his parents and later on I can come and meet the family. Cairo's traffic is a bit crazy...Once we got to the apartment we went out for a bit because I needed to call my parents to let them know I am here and everything is going good. So we went to the market place there was a small shop, there were alot of men and we told them who and where I need to call. Then they gave me a cell phone. Later on they checked the minute usage and charged me .80cents per minute. But Alaa paid for it. The market place was what I would call "pijaca." It was like 10 pm at night. People were buying fruit and vegetables. There were many cafes in which mostly older men sat and smoked shisha and watched music videos on TV monitors that were brought outside. There were some women but mostly men. We walked around a bit. Everything is new to me. I asked Alaa how long everything is open to and he replied that Cairo is a city that never sleeps. The cafes close when there are no more customers. But people are outside always. Alaa came I will continue this later. Thursday we are invited to Zo's birthday and tomorrow me might go to the Pyramids.

Food for thought

The other day I came across this quote and it made me pause for a few minutes.

It just resonated with me.

"When your life finally flashes before your eyes, you get one last look at all you've done... and one last chance to regret everything you have never tried."

Most of us live our lives to the fullest potential, most of us probably will never. How come? If we all live in America, in the land of opportunity what personal characteristics and circumstances inhibits some from reaching that fullest potential?

No Regret

No Fear

(One regrets a terrible mistake from the past, and that leads one to be reluctant to explore/try similar or even dissimilar new things)

Or is it the other way around?

No Fear, No Regret. Because fear is stronger and it is because of fear that we don't try everything that we wanted. At least that seems to be the direction that collective consciousness is going. I think this quote might just resonate with every individual on a different note.

Good vs. Evil

I guess the most difficult thing when I came to this country was trying to fit into this culture. I believe that one's religion definitely shapes once culture. This is why cultures across the world, from all corners of the earth can find similarities that are particularly strong when bound by the same religion. The greatest difficulty I am having in this part of the world, is this dynamic challenge between the good vs. the evil. This country in particular has this kind of obsession with this concept. In conversations I am constantly finding myself challenging my colleagues, or friends misconception that man can be born evil. That there is such a thing as an evil person. I cannot and will not except that because it goes against everything that I have been taught by my parents and consequently through them by my religion. However, how to express that? How to explain that to someone that wishes to believe and has been ingrained to believe that evil in a person can exist? That has been a challenge. As I was reading the book "The Road to Mecca" I found the following passage that sheds some light on what I desperately try to explain to my christian friends and colleagues.

..."It is on the basis of this conception that Islam, alone among all higher religions, regards the soul of man as one aspect of his 'personality' and not as an independent phenomenon in its own right. Consequently, to the Muslim, man's spiritual growth is inextricably bound up with all the other aspects of his nature. Physical urges are an integral part of this nature: not the result of an 'original sin' -a concept foreign to the ethics of Islam- but positive, God- giving forces, to be accepted and sensibly used as such; hence, the problem for man is not how to supress the demands of his body but, rather how to co-ordinate them with the demands of his spirit in such a way that life might become full and righteous.

The root of this almost monistic life-assertion is to be found in the Islamic view that man's original nature is essentially good. Contrary to Christian idea that man is born sinful, or the teaching of Hinduism that he is originally low and impure and must painfully stagger through a long chain of incarnations toward the ultimate goal of perfection, the Koran says:

'Verily, We create man in a perfect state' - a state of purity that may be destroyed only by subsequent wrong behavior- ' and thereupon We reduce him to the lowest of low, with the exception of those who have faith in God and do good works.'"

p. 147 of "The Road to Mecca"

I just LOVE that recital from the Koran- "We create man in a PERFECT state."

Morality

There were once two angels, Harut and Marut, who forgot to be humble, as it behoves angles to be, and boasted of their invincible purity: "We are made of light; we are above all sin and desire, unlike the weak sons of man, sons of a mother's dark womb." But they forgot that their purity had to come from their own strength, for they were pure only because they knew no desire and had never been called upon to resist it. Their arrogance displeased the Lord, and He said to them: " Go down to earth and stand your test there." The proud angels went down to earth and wandered, clothed in human bodies, among the sons of man. And on the very first night they came upon a woman whose beauty was so great that people called her The Shining One. When the angles looked at her with the human eyes and feelings they now had, they became confused and, just as if they had been sons of man, the desire possessed her arose in them. Each of them said to her: "Be willing unto me." But The Shining One answered: "There is one man to whom I belong; if you want me, you must free me of him." And they slew the man; and with the unjustly spilt blood still in their hands, they satisfied their burning lust with the woman. But as soon as the desire left them, the two erstwhile angels became aware that on their first night on earth they had sinned twofold- in murder and fornication-and that there had been no sense in their pride. .. And the Lord said: "Choose between punishment in this world and punishment in the Hereafter." In their bitter remorse, the fallen angles chose punishment in this world: and the Lord ordained that they be suspended on chains between heaven and earth and remain thus suspended until the Day of Judgement as a warning to angels and men that all virtue destroys itself if it loses humility. But as no human eye can see angels, God changed The Shining One into a star in the heavens so that people might always see her and, remembering her story remember the fate of Harut and Marut.

The outline of this legend is much older than Islam; it seems to have originated in one of the many myths which the ancient Semites wove around their goddess Ishtar, the Grecian Aphrodite of later days, both of whom were identified with the planet we now call Venus. But in the form in which I heard it, the story of Harut and Marut is a typical creation of the Muslim mind, an illustration of the idea that abstract purity, or freedom form sin, can have no moral meaning so long as it is based on a mere absence of urges and desires; for is not the recurrent necessity of choosing between right and wrong the premise of all morality?

Poor Harut and Marut did not know this. Because as angels they had never been exposed to temptation, they had considered themselves pure and morally far above man- not realizing that thedenial of the 'legitimacy' of bodily urges would indirectly imply a denial of all moral value in human endeavours; for it is only the presence of urges, temptations and conflicts- the possibility of choice- which makes man, and him alone, into a moral being: a being endowed with a soul.

p. 146-147 of "The Road to Mecca"

Concert Follow Up

Last night was fucked up. All day long I was on the go and a bit tired. After work, I went straight to the Aveda Juut Salon where I do my hair. We did some things a bit differently and like usually it takes about three hours. At work in the afternoon I called my sister to see whether she wanted to go to the concert. I also told her that Ambriz will be going and she got mad about that and threatened with having to reconsider whether she wants to go now. That was a bit stressful. I call Ambriz and tell him he can't go with us. She calls me back and tells me she will be going but hates to have to lie to Mom about everything (this was before she knew I had told him he can't go with us). While in the salon I was so tired and the three hours seemed to go by to slow. I kept on losing concentration and it was very difficult for me to sit still. I came out at around 8 pm, and very hungry. I stopped at a local Cub to pick up some cash from the ATM machine and than I went quickly to McDonalds in a rush to order something to go. In the meantime my sister has called me to tell me she is on her way to my place. I kept on eating while I was driving, when I came home my sister was already there. I did her make-up and she suggested that we open a bottle of wine that I had just received yesterday from Phil as a house warming present. So I opened the wine and gave her a glass and poured a glass for myself. Than I got ready. We finally were ready and jump into the car to go to downtown. We go into a parking ramp and park, when I realize that I had forgotten my drivers license! Super, way to go, had to go back into the car and drive back home and get the drivers license. We finally did get there and the music was great everything was cool. Well, I haven't been drinking anything for at least 2 months, because there was Ramadan when drinking alcohol during that holy month is even worse of a sin. So I started drinking, and actually I didn't drink that much. I think overall, I only had three drinks, but I think I drank them to fast and faster than how I usually drink. I might have also been hungry. Before you know it, it was 12:30 am and I was ridiculously drunk. In fact I have never been that drunk in my life. Ok, so that is an embarrassment as is. But guess what happens next! Out of all that frustration with my life and the relationships around me, I started sobbing!!!! Yes, imagine how stupid it looks, everyone is having fun, Armin came out, he is giving his best, people yelling, laughing, having a hell of a good time. And there is me, hardly able to stand not only from the alcohol but also from the tears that just wouldn't stop and the sobbing. I couldn't control the tears and the emotions no matter how much I tried. My sister reacted quickly and we went out, driving in the direction of my place.

Concert Tonight

Boo! I am going to see Armin van Buuren at the Epic tonight! I am super excited and am looking forward to it. After work I have an appointment to retouch my highlights. I am thinking to add some redish color along with the blond for the fall. After this 3 hour appointment my hair will be ready for going out. A couple of weeks ago I bought this super nice and sexy little black dress from BCBG, I might be wearing it tonight, but it is so cold. I will be going with my sister and Ambrizoo. I might take some pictures and post it on my blog.