Best Advise Issue

The following is an excerpt taken from FORTUNE magazine issue dated May 12, 2008 from Indra Nooyi, who is the chairman and CEO of PEPSICO.

My father was an absolutely wonderful human being. From him I learned to always assume positive intent. Whatever anybody says or does, assume positive intent. You will be amazed at how your whole approach to a person or problem becomes very different. When you assume negative intent, you are angry. If you take away that anger and assume positive intent, you will be amazed. Your emotional quotient goes up because you are no longer almost random in your response. You don’t get defensive. You don’t scream. You are trying to understand and listen because at your basic core you are saying, “Maybe they are saying something to me that I’m not hearing.” So “assume positive intent” has been a huge piece of advise for me.
In business, sometimes in the heat of the moment, people say things. You can either misconstrue what they’re saying and assume they are trying to put you down, or you can say, “wait a minute. Let me really get behind what they are saying to understand whether they’re reacting because they’re hurt, upset, confused, or they don’t understand what it is I’ve asked them to do.” If you react from a negative perspective- because you didn’t like the way they reacted- then it just becomes two negatives fighting each other. But when you assume positive intent, I think often what happens is the other person says, “Hey, wait a minute, maybe I’m wrong in reacting the way I do because this person is really making an effort.”

Changes

(The picture above was taken in Egypt in a cafe at the Kahn el Khalili market)

It seems forever since I last wrote and so many new developments have occurred personal as well as external. I want to try to keep up with the blogging in the future.
But I am not sure how much time I will have.

Since November the following has happened in my personal life: I went to Egypt during the last two weeks of Winter 2010 to visit my husband in Cairo. I was on the airplane for New Years Eve, only to land in New York, open the newspapers and see that the cover story was Alexandria, Egypt where a church was bombed on New Years Eve. I guess we can say that was only the beginning and a clear sign of major unrest to occur subsequently. In January the Ross University Medical School accepted me in their fall medical school class. January 23rd I turned 26th years old!!! Hurray!
January 25th, protests in Egypt began to which my husband did not go to, I might add, even though I tried to encourage it. In January, I also send in my application to the American University of Beirut Medical School. Yes, if you are wondering that is correct the school is in Beirut, Lebanon. In February, I received an acceptance to the St. George University Medical School in Grenada. My husband almost changed work companies but decided to stay with his old company. He went to Syria, came back to Egypt, thought he was going for work in Saudi Arabia only to go back to Syria. But it all worked out for the better as it always does. March 12th and March 18th, we celebrated my little sisters 13th birthday and my Dad’s birthday (sorry I don’t remember how old he turned, we just don’t keep track with parents or grandparents). Unfortunately, the week of his upcoming birthday my Dad was unexpectedly laid off from work. So we are in major trouble at the moment, and just pray that he finds a job soon and that everything turns for the better as it is supposed to always do. USCIS, answered my what seems hundred inquiry only to tell me that they understand how stressful my situation is but that the background checks are not complete and that I should not put in another inquiry for at least another 6 months.

I am waiting to get the acceptance from AUB but decided to go to SGU in Grenada in the fall. I have to be on the island for mandatory orientation August 10th! In March, Medtronic the company I work for decided that they will lay off 4% of the workforce which comes to about 1500-2000 positions. During this time they were offering Early Retirement and Voluntary Separation of Leave. March 10th or so I did what I had dreaded to do for three years but what I new was long overdue, and I put in my notice and request for Voluntary Separation. To my surprise it was approved. The day I received the call from HR stating that it was approved, I was so scared and thought I had done a terrible mistake. The economy is terrible and I am giving my notice. It took some time to settle in my brain that it is the right thing to do and that FINALLY I am going to medical school in a few months! My last day of work will be May 13th, 2010. Afterwards, I will be on payroll for another two months, I will also receive some lump severance amount of money. Before, my last day I do have to monitor two sites one in Iowa and the other in New York and those will be my last monitoring visits ever! That will give me enough time to sell my beloved car and other items and prepare to move to Grenada in the fall. In addition, there are many work changes happening, my group will not stay the same much longer and we have moved into the beautiful World Headquarters building.

June 20th through August 3rd I will be in Sarajevo, Bosnia in my beloved country and in the most beautiful city in the world! The plan is that my husband will join me in Bosnia during this time, so we will be together with the family. My entire family was supposed to go and my parents were planning a party for our marriage but now that my Dad was laid off this will not be a possibility at least not this summer.

June 6th, 2010, in only two months or so it will be our 1st Anniversary. Hopefully, many more are to be planned…… I can’t believe that it has been a year already, where does the time go? It seems it has been such a busy year. I will post soon my reflections on married life that have accumulated over the past year and especially married life separated 5000 miles, in two countries, on two different continents. Hey, I think some day I should write a book about it. As you might guess, we will not be together on our anniversary! Bummer I know. But we have pushed it back to July 6th this year because that is when we will be together in Bosnia and we will be able to celebrate!

Status Update on the Reading

Every year I make a list of the books that I want to read. Most of the time I have way to many books on that list and usually I never finish all of them by the time the following year comes by. Well, New Years is coming soon, and that means it is time to reflect on the accomplishments and possible downturns of a year gone by and make new resolutions for the upcoming year. Here is my update whose purpose is mostly directed towards me.

Reading List for Year 2010
• The Cellist of Sarajevo by Steven Galloway (totally forgot about this)

• The Cheapest Nights by Idris Yusuf (Yes, read it but was not so impressed)

• Das Kapital by Karl Marx (still on the radar)

• The Discovery of India by Nehru Jawaharlal (started reading it
but did not get past the first few chapters, its very heavy)

• Death and the Dervish by Mesa Selimovic (totally forgot)

• Les Miserables by Victor Hugo (I started at LEAST three times
reading this book and for some reason I always get diverted. I know it is a
classic and a must read therefore, it is still on the radar)

• A long walk to freedom by Nelson Mandela (did not even start this
and do not own it)

• City of Love and Ashes by Yusuf Idris (Done)

• Tears of the Desert by Halima Bashir (Done- an excellent read!)

• Life of Pi by Yann Martel (Oh god, please save me, in the book
club we came half way through and I just couldn’t take it anymore)

• Ernesto Guevera Che Biography (started and still working on it)


I also was reading the following books just out of the spur of the moment:

• Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevski (I started reading this for
the second time but did not finish because I realized that I had already over
analyzed this book and I perceived that there was nothing new to discover)

• Three Cups of Tea (started on the airplane going to a monitoring
visit but did not finish it)

• My son’s wife (started but got bored and really frustrated)

• The Moral Landscape ( I am currently reading with the intention
of finishing and than giving it as a gift to my friend whose b-day is coming up)

• The Kite Runner (Finished- the beginning is excellent but than
somewhere in the middle the story falls apart and becomes to predictable for me)

• The Iron Wall (Started for the second time but did not finish due
to frustration)

Fortune Cookies

As some might know I really enjoy reading fortune cookies at appropriate times and collecting them. Here is a list of fortune cookie quotes I have collected over the years. Most of them come from a restaurant I like to frequent called Chino Latino. But few are from Chinese take out foods I have ordered over the years.


Next time you get a gut feeling, take an antacid.

Your big break is coming. And a bus will be to blame.

When your mother told you not to be a slut she spoke from experience.

When was his last STD screening anyway?

That new mole isn’t malignant – but if it’s an egg sac laid subcutaneously by a parasite it’s hardly benign.

Bothered by her feminine irritation? Tell her about Summer’s Eve soothing gel.

Well. You certainly did YOUR share to contribute to the restaurant’s liquor revenues.

Why can’t you be more like your sister?

You will soon be crossing warm waters for a fun vacation.

You’ve changed your look.
You’ve changed your hair.
Now change your locks.

He has a blog and you should ask to see it.

That dirt under your date’s fingernails? Looks like a fungal infection.

Stop wasting your time with these people!

Your therapist is crazier than you are.

It’s getting late and your outfit is tired.

Your server has had it with you.

How about a mint?

When he says you make him crazy, believe him.

It’s not you, it’s me.

You are more intuitive than logical. You often learn better b y doing than by theorizing first.

What’s with all the Clay Aiken on your ipod?

The beginning of wisdom starts with deleting your Web history.

Damage control is no longer an option.

Your past is going to catch up with you. Then it will pounce, sink its talons into your back, knock over and set you on fire.

Generosity provides a solid foundation for mindfulness practice.

Memoirs

Sitting at the JFK airport, hearing different languages and seeing all kinds of strange people. Hearing the announcer over speakerphone announcing the flight to a place I never heard in Ghana. Seeing a very long line with German passengers for a boarding line for a plane to Frankfurt Germany. Right at the next gate are more Europeans chatting, laughing and waiting for their flight to Amsterdam. For some reason my flight to Mpls will be at a gate that is among the gates of these international flights. On the overhead flights to destinations such as Prague and Moscow are announced and passengers called. I perceive all of this and think about next summer. Next summer, Alaa, I and my entire family will be going to Bosnia. I can see us already waiting for our international flight to take us across the ocean and ultimately to Sarajevo. We will be surrounded by other Bosnians and we will be so happy to be on vacation, to be together and to be going to see our family and friends and the country that we love so much. It will be Alaa’s first time in Bosnia, and first time to meet most of my family so we will both probably be a bit nervous and wondering how everything will go and what first impressions will be imprinted. We will be looking forward to an amazing vacation and the possibility to visit even Croatia or Turkey. If we were leaving from Chicago during the summer going to Amsterdam, we will be undoubtedly surrounded by other Bosnians, all going to the same ultimate destination. This reminds me of the story I vividly recall to this day. My family and I were going from Chicago to Bosnia many years ago. We were at the gate in Chicago waiting for a flight, and Emina who was just a toddler at that time, turned at one point to my mother and said: “Mom, there are people here who speak the same language as you!” We all burst out laughing at that comment. When I hear people speaking German or Bosnian there is just something that makes me attracted to their language, something is lit up in me and I remember my childhood and start to associate emotions with that language. That is something that I miss the most in English. English is my third language, after Bosnia and German respectively and it is also a language that I started learning when I was in my teens and when most of my childhood had already passed. It is also a foreign language that I was forced to learn with the assumption that it will be the last language forced upon me. As we always assumed that we will stay in the United States, and maybe because of that or maybe because of other reasons, I cannot associate warm, cozy memories and emotions to this language when I hear it. It is not that the language is ugly, it is just maybe because I was not raised here and have not grown up from an early age speaking this language. Or maybe it is just that I was born to be a European my entire life. As my thinking, perceptions and convictions lean more towards how a European would think and not so much how an American would think. I just can’t wait for summer 2011 where I will be surrounded by people that look similar to me and speak the same language. I can’t wait to show Alaa the place I grew up, where I went to school and where I used to play before the war when I was a child. I can’t wait to have ice-cream with him at a place that has been in Sarajevo for ages called “Egypt” and where I used to throw fits at my parents to get me the ice-cream even in the cold winters. There is no ice-cream that compares to that in Egypt, it is made different and there is only one flavor but that flavor cannot be compared to anything else in this world. It is the ice-cream I was searching since my childhood in other places and could not find even a small resemblance. No one knows what it is made of exactly since it is a secret recipe believed to be owned by a man who came from Albania. Thinking about all of this I start to board my plane this evening back home, to Minneapolis.